Life haf not been de same for me lately..Last few weeks seems to me dat itz a test of patience from god..Two forms of communication haf been deprived of me..Handphone and the internet..I seem to realise de importance of treasuring wad i haf..I seem lost without the company of my best fren cum godbro cum bandmate wenxu..I seem despaired by myown financial frailitites..I seem more depressedby my failure in my cursed love life..I seem upset by my incapability to cope physically and mentally..I seem so certain dat all my problems wil never affect my studies but alas, to no avail..I seem to wonder how most of de ppl around me can easily disguise their personal problems..Maybe i am juz weak..Weak in every aspect..I seem to seeonli one word appearing on de horizon of de tings yet to comeim my pathetic life..FAILURE..I may be tinking negatively rite now and ppl haf always encouraged my to tink positively in de face of looming failure, but how come so far i've not been able to find de rite moments to smile? Smiling to me these dayshaf been difficult as well as limited..Maybe they dun even exist if my mind, the word smile..Those smiles i've portrayed are wonderfully disguising my woeful life..Is diz de ending? Or it is it juz a sign of wad are tings to come for me in life? I wld love to wake up one dayfeeling truly hapi wif my own life, but too bad..itz never gonna happen for me..Well, enough of being sadistic..Now for the flashbacks..I kinda miz de good old days spent after sch hours..But of course in sec sch i mean..Itz by far where de best and de most happiest memories i've had so far in 13 yrs of sch life..I stil remember de times when me and my "gang" played sports lyk soccer, basketball and even captain's ball after classes together..I recall de time when i broke de window of a class in de lower sec block wif a soccer ball..My fren Jackson was lyk so panicky, as if he's de one who did the crime, and he go lyk "Wah..i from 5B horz..de one hu broke de window is in 5B!"..Haha..In actual fact we in 4B..Hehe..Apart from studying in de dreaded classroom, we oso spent long hrs talking bout aniting interesting under de sun, teasing and disturbing each other along the way..Those were the memories..Oh yar i wil never forget de moment when me, wenxu, kong chian and desmond did better than 3 other great vocal grp challengers to take de 2002 Quest Talentime title..The song was Fly By by Blue..Hu can forget de magnificent dragging part desmond did which cld possibly the key moment which won us the competition, earning us the name Questblue..Sec sch life revolves a lot around love, crushes and relationships..In diz, de nice guys wil nvr wins..Nvm if u dunno de reason..I wil oso nvr forget de first gal i fell in love wif..Hope dat u wil give me another chance..Haiz..And, oh yar..i remembered dat time when i carelessly shed tears during graduation day..If i was not wrong, it was dat auld lang syne song arh..All de fond memories of sec sch life..So fun and enjoyable..At least i'm hapi dat i left qtss making a lot of frenz..I hope to acheive dat kind of life again but i dun tink can reach it yet..De so called "main character" are stil missing and yet to be found..It means dat de ppl making my life hapi and enjoyable are no longer there..Erm, es they are stil around but seldom there..Aniwae, ppl haf their own ways to let go of their sadness or sad memories..Well for me..I juz keep quiet in one corner to stone, or even shed some tear..Of course i wil need someone to be there to comfort me..Hehe..So, thanx guys for always being there for me when i need u all..Ppl lyk wenxu, kong chian, desmond, jia hao, jiayang, edric and not forgetting my godbros and godsis..To these ppl, i wld lyk to say a big THANK YOU to u all..I love u all so much..Okie now i wld wanna say dat i'm actually alrite and are not feeling depressed..Omg..wad am i doin..time to continue studying hard le..Til i write again, sally jie, outzings..